It will never be known all of the secret adventures L. Ron Hubbard may have imagined he lived in his famous “past lives” theories, but the technology of Artificial Intelligence can give us the clues we need to peer into the dark recesses of his science fiction imagination. This AI tale may seem a bit absurd … but is it really? Read on as the chatbot tells the tale of…
LAFAYETTE THE TERRIBLE
Lafayette knew his past lives were among those of Captain Kid, Henry Morgan, and Blackbeard.
Lafayette the Terrible, formerly known as L. Ron Hubbard, quit his day job, pooled his meager savings, and purchased a used fishing vessel. He then proceeded to convince a small group of homeless people to join him on his adventure, claiming he was a daring buccaneer from the Golden Age of Piracy.
The homeless people were hesitant at first, but Lafayette was so convincing, so passionate in his mission, that they soon became believers. He had a plan, and it was one they could all get behind; they were going to sail the seas, looking for treasure and adventure!
Smoke rising from Lafayette’s cannon fire.
On their first voyage, they made a daring move, firing their cannons at a cruise ship that was carrying a group of mental health professionals on vacation. The professionals, too stunned to react, watched in awe as Lafayette, in full pirate regalia, shouted orders and waved his saber in the air.
Lafayette and his crew continued their voyage, sailing aimlessly around the world, all while convincing his followers that he was a famous spiritual guru descended from space aliens. He wrote an endless stream of cryptic messages to them, and wrote books with strange, otherworldly advice that haunted the crew as they slept in their bunks at night.
Lafayette sees his dreams slip away beneath the waves.
One day, the homeless people grew disenchanted with Lafayette’s cryptic messages because they could not understand the strange, otherworldly advice he was giving them. They had joined Lafayette in his quest for adventure, but they soon realized that he was not the powerful spiritual guru he claimed to be. Lafayette’s messages seemed to be nothing more than empty promises, and the homeless people were no longer convinced that they were on the right path. The tension between them and Lafayette continued to grow until they could no longer bear it and decided to part ways.
The homeless people held secret meetings to plan their escape, and they soon decided that they had to set fire to Lafayette’s ship in order to get away. They gathered whatever combustible materials they could find and made their way to the deck of the ship. Once the secret sign was given, they set fire to the deck, the sails, and the rigging, creating a massive blaze that could be seen for miles. When the flames had died down, the homeless people had escaped on one of the two lifeboats and Lafayette was left behind, alone, his dreams of religious ascendency dashed.
Returning to shore, Ron bought a Blue Bird Wanderlodge motorhome and retired to a secret ranch in California, growing his hair out in hippy style, started chain-smoking Kool menthol cigarettes and spent his days watching The Smurfs. He found solace in the simple pleasure of living off the land and reflecting on his adventures as Lafayette the Terrible. Though he never achieved his dreams of becoming a full-fledged buccaneer, he was content with the fact that he had taken a chance and followed his heart. Many of those who spent time with Ron had different reflections.
The homeless people went on with their lives after escaping Lafayette’s crazy ideas. They started blogs and YouTube channels where they warned others about the danger of following the charisma of delusional cult leaders. They shared their stories and experiences, hoping to help others avoid the same fate. Their words spread, and soon, more and more people began to recognize the danger of following someone who promises adventure, treasure, and spiritual enlightenment without any tangible results. In the end, the homeless people were able to find some peace and closure in sharing their story, and to this day, they will never forget their time with Lafayette the Terrible, as difficult as it was to adjust after leaving his crazy adventure.
SPTV hosts, Aaron Smith-Levin, Marc & Clair Headley, Mike Rinder, and Amy Scobee appear regularly on YouTube to share their stories of escaping the cult of Scientology.
